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Not sure how to communicate my feelings in words. Here’s what I know. When God gives you a burden, you’re life becomes a wreck. Balance is a bunch of junk. I’m lucky to sleep 3-4 hours a night since I returned from Africa. I’m not trying to be over-spiritual, but when something grips you deeply things simply change. I’m OK with that.

Before I went to Africa I was deeply worried about life “post-Africa.” How would I respond? The first few months I was numb, anxious and frustrated. Then January came, holidays ended and something in me broke. I deeply wanted to return to Africa to be with my new friends. I wanted to explore Africa on a deeper level, spend time learning and understanding. (BTW-My wife would move in a heartbeat. Ya, I’m so lucky!)
Sometimes I just break down and cry…For some of you this may seem strange. As for me, I knew this would happen. And this is why I always avoided going. Mentally I sorta feel like the apostles in Acts. Tired, weary, struggling for focus.

It’s not only about Africa.  It’s about those who are far from Jesus.

Saturday I went to a party. Crazy wild party with jello shots and homemade brew. 30-40 people who are far from God.  That night I could not sleep. Hearing the broken stories of life. I get to go to bed with wholeness and peace knowing that my faith is in Christ. I just want those people at that party to have the same peace that I do.

People are far from God…They assume God does not care or God is mad. They assume the church is lame and has no place of impact in their life.  Where do these people go? Who will tell them about Jesus-the real Jesus? Do we pastors really think they are going to just show up to church on a Sunday and somehow our message is going to change them? Of course that could happen, but hopefully that is not the “main” focus of evangelism.
Maybe we need to walk with them in their domain? Love them, serve them and help them understand the goodness of Jesus and the power of redemption. Invite them to journey with us as we journey with them.

That night I was able to share naturally about Jesus. They asked questions and I give them my opinion. One dude asked me why I was going to Africa, my response,  “Because that where Jesus would go.” He about spit-up his beer. So we talked about Jesus with a bunch of other people in the middle of a party. I love that. I love that. I love that.

I get to spend eternity with Jesus. Until then sleep will always be overrated in my book.



  1. Thanks for sharing this, Chris. I don’t think we’re supposed to be okay with the fact that this is a broken world. At the same time, I’m going to pray that the peace of Christ will be with you. Because it’s hard to minister effectively without enough sleep.

  2. I love that post. Thanks.

  3. Texas,

    Thanks. I need to sleep for sure. 🙂


    I would love to hear more about your Africa journey’s.

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